I hate Hamilton. I hate everything about it. The smell, the ugly, the roads and of course their football team — the Pussy Cats.
1:30pm: Pint of brew in the Indianapolis International Airport.
2:35pm: A duty free store this facility has not.
3:34pm: Ladies and gentlemen we are please to begin our in-flight service! Heineken!
4:35pm (Toronto): Fight with declaration card scanner. Card scanner wins.
5:01pm: On the 407 towards the Arm Pit of Ontario.
5:45pm: Traffic, remarkably, has been exceptional until the 407/QEW interchange at which point it’s become a parking lot because some drunk dump truck driver left his box up. Strangely, I am not shocked by this.
6:11pm: GAME TIME!
6:25pm: The only two places you can drink in this dump are behind the end zone, which is the only place you can see the field, or a stupid corner behind the grand stands where you can’t see a thing. I have no idea who Ron Joyce is but fuck his stadium!
Ah it says here that he’s the billionaire co-founder of Tim Horton’s. Well that explains everything!
6:26pm: Ah, finally found a watering hole. Wait, FUCK!
6:27pm: Finally making some progress. Beer #3. I will not be caught sober in Hamiltoe.
Half Time: Lirim Hajrullahu Fan Club!
Getting a lot of texts saying the place looks empty. The reason is obvious because there’s probably 1000 people in the end zone beer garden and a long line to get in. Makes sense since it’s the only place you can watch football with a beer. Oh sippin’ seat why did I leave you at home!?!?
10:15 Q3: Met Lirim’s kicking coach from Western at the urinal. He’s NOT wearing a Bomber Jersey. WTF?!
1:21 Q3: Gulp.
2:00 Q4: I love to hate on quarterbacks so for his own sake Willy better win.
00:00: Holy shit! He won it!
10:05pm Coach O’Shea’s Mother in Law:
10:30pm: Ordered Rotten Ronnie’s.
10:50pm: Received Rotten Ronnie’s.
11:11pm: Dropped off at the GO Station. Last GO Train home left at 11:06, damn you Rotten Ronnie and your slower than shit service!
There’s nothing like snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, especially as a visitor. It’s a taste sampled long ago and was much, MUCH better than I remember. This win felt so good I wasn’t even mad about paying for the $120 cab ride home. That actually happened.
Thanks for driving Lee!
YOU’RE NEXT TORONTO! See you all there on Tuesday!