Well they did it. They blew it all up. Feel better? You should. What an incredible two weeks. The circus has come to Winnipeg and what a show it is.
What prizes have the good citizens of Bomber Nation won at this magnificent carnival?
A new “Acting” President and CEO, Wade Miller.
Wade Miller will really have to screw up the last eleven games of the season to get the boot at year’s end. He’ll be judged later on the performance of the GM he hires.
A new “Acting” General Manager, Kyle Walters.
This is kinda like promoting the Dishwasher to Executive Chef isn’t it? A year and a half ago he was the special teams coordinator. Now he runs football operations? I was a big fan of the CFL 18 months ago, that should qualify me to be in charge of the Grey Cup Festival. All sarcasm aside, anyone is better than Joe Mack, but Miller better perform the exhaustive search for GM he promised at the end of this season.
A new Offense Coordinator, Marcel Bellefeuille.
He is an upgrade and none of you can argue it. Without a doubt better than the Goat. Who knows if it’s enough to win but who cares? The Goat is gone.
A new starting quaterback, Max Hall.
Max looked better than any of the QBs who have started for the Bombers in 2013 but only in the first half. Was the lack of half time adjustments made by the now deposed Goat to blame? We’ll know more on Saturday!
A new backup quarterback, Buck Pierce.
Can we put him out of his and our misery already? He’s got a bright future as a coach. He’s got no future as a quaterback. He’ll never win us the Grey Cup. There is no point in letting him play anymore. None. Those of you saying he should go back to starting need to stop.
Next week I’m hoping to see this guy:
A new kicker, Sandro Deangelis.
This was an unexpected development but not entirely undeserved. Palardy has been struggling.
We got what we asked for and it’s spectacular. It has been a lot of fun getting emails announcing the execution of so-and-so over the past couple of weeks but who are we supposed to pick on now?
Easy, The Board of Directors.
Everyone one of these ass clowns should be fired too. The problem is no one seems to know who has the authority to fire them. It may not even be possible. I googled for a while and couldn’t find out how these serpents are chosen. It almost looks as though they get to pick themselves. I’m not sure where the ‘community’ gets its say. If you know the answer leave it down below.
Tiger-Cats 37 – Bombers 18
So after everything that went down over the bye and the following week Bomber fans actually set an attendance record at IGF. Here’s how they dressed:
Here’s someone actually giving some thought to how they dress:
And then the Winnipeg Blue Bumblers tried to play football.
The Offence (in the first half)
Max Hall looked sharper than his predecessors and was the victim of several dropped passes. He engineered a lengthy touchdown drive and at several moments looked like the QB we have been looking for. Also, to the surprise of everyone, Terrence Edwards finally came back to life with 172 yards! He was the only one of the receivers out there looking like he gave a shit.
Let Hank have 250 yards in the first two quarters with blown coverage being the modus operandi of the evening. Now that they are done firing management it’s time to look at firing some of the players, mainly the secondary.
The Offence (in the second half)
Whether it was an O-lineman or the RB who was supposed to protect Max Hall on that hellacious hit from the blindside I am not sure. Things like that get people killed and Max Hall might have brain damage now. The Goat’s failure to make any kind of adjustments at the half were most evident again. Hamilton was able to shut down everything that had been working for Winnipeg after spending a few minutes together in the locker room.
Absolute Vodka Ass of the Week: The Board of Directors
For sticking their beaks in things they should stay out of, for not sticking their beaks in things when they clearly need to (letting Joe Mack stay past last season).
Honourable Mention: Kito Poblah who catches as well as Kamau “Shamu” Peterson when he was wearing the Blue and Gold. A reader suggested we trade him for a bag of Obby Kahn’s shawarma. I think that might be a stretch, Obby’s shawarma is really expensive.
Honourable Mention: The offensive line. Just terrible. This is part of Joe Mack’s legacy. They made Chad Simpson look really good at running into them because they couldn’t open any holes.
Honourable Mention: Cauchy Muamba. Why is he an upgrade from Ian Logan? Ian might be slower but he’s much smarter.
Honourable Mention: The Zebras (refs). I’m still mad at them, in part for what they did to that poor donkey’s mom.
Heineken Hero of the Week: The Board of Directors
For firing Garth Buchko and hiring Wade Miller who fired Joe Mack who hired Gary Crowton who got fired by Kyle Walters who was promoted by Wade Miller.
Honourable Mention: Terrence Edwards. A veteran leading by example. If only Big Blue had more veterans of his calibre.
All Aboard the Fail Train to Guelph
The Tiger-Cats have had the Blue Bumbler’s number all year long and this week they go for the series win. Your’s truly has seats behind the Bumbler bench on Saturday. How many other Bomber fans will man (or woman) up with me to brave the verbal onslaught? The over under on the number of pizza crusts flung at my noggin is three. For peanuts it’s 13. I also expect to wear at least one beer. Whether or not that’s mine or someone else’s is something I look forward to finding out.
Remember, strength in numbers! Those who stick with their team through the hard times are the only ones who get to truly feel the joy of a championship victory, whenever that day comes. The others are soulless fair-weather-fans trying to fill the emotional void left from an empty childhood and a series of bad relationships. Take comfort in that and the fact that you will always look better wearing blue than someone dressed in green next time you look at the standings.
Next week I’ll treat you to another first person account of the game and my treatment at the hands of Hamiltonians at Alumni Stadium in Guelph. That’s my best work so don’t miss it!
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